When God calls us to go and speak, we must go!  Even if we face obstacles, or turmoil, or people telling us to stop, we must be obedient to the command of the LORD. {Reference from Amos 7:7-17}

  God called me to speak while at training camp for the next group of missionaries going out on the field from January till about May.  He gave me a vision of a line drawn in the sand. On one side were you and all you hold on to: fear, insecurity, rejection, shame, guilt, worry, pride, low-self-esteem, etc.  On the other was Jesus with His arms out wide. He said, "You must choose, Me or you?"  He continued," Are you going to live a life reliant on yourself and bound by fear, worry, guilt, shame, discouragement, rejection, or are you going to trust me and allow me to embrace you and take you deep into my heart that is ravished for you? You must choose for yourself."

I was then riddled with fear. My heart was pounding. The thought of standing in front of all the people gathered for some reason struck a strong chord of fear in me and I was legitimately afraid. I was being silenced and shut up by fear. God called me to share this Word to the participants going out into the field, some for the first time, but I was under the weight of fear. God spoke to me in the moment of my agony and told me that I would not feel His peace unless I faced this fear.

So, finally, without any peace and my heart pounding with fear, I got up to the microphone and proclaimed the vision God gave me. In that moment peace invaded every part of my being. There was no space left for fear to hide!! I poured out the vision and proclaimed freedom and grace over a generation. In a flash, true to His promise, He gave me the words to speak out over His children that He is head over heels for them and wants them all and all of them!

May God be magnified and glorified in our lives. I have an overwhelming sense of joy and peace from walking into my freedom and authority by trusting that God was with me and for me. I trusted that God would speak through me and in a moment of triumph over the enemy, let go!

Fire burn deep

Don't let me be the same

Let Your flame of love overflow

Out of the ashes I rise and stand

I come out clean and purified

What am I apart from you?

What is my life without You Jesus?

I have only You in this world

Let nothing but praise come from these veins

I have only the life you have given me

Burn in me all consuming fire

Ignite a fireball of love and grace that cannot be extinguished

Forgiveness and repentance will be my lifesong

I turn to you LORD

You are precious to me

Your beauty intrigues me

All I want is more

In your arms I find peace for my restless soul

Never let me go, Lover of my soul

Take this life and all that I am

Let nothing stand between us

You vanquish everything that tries to destroy me

You are my hope and salvation

You chose me and now I choose YOU!

God has been speaking intimacy over me a lot while I have been here in Guatemala. Specifically, I think, because I tend to get busy "doing" things for Him or the team and miss the whole point: Being in His presence.

I have read two books outside of the Word of God that have helped me to see the value of sitting in the silence, "waiting on the LORD." The books are Abba's Child by Brennan Manning and Bridal Intercession by Gary Wiens.  I make mention of them because I recommend them as a helpful tool to enlighten you on how God feels about you and also the reason we pray and how it should be a direct response to our intimacy with Jesus, not a chore.

My feelings contradict what God asks of me. I find it very difficult to sit quietly alone in the stillness and wait on God. Many times, my response to his call for intimacy is: to jam in some earphones, open a book, turn on the computer or some other form of distraction so that I don't have to feel the weight of silence and aloneness. I think this is important for us to get passed if we truly want intimacy with God. We can't expect to hear from Him if all we do is drown Him out.

I have a challenge for myself that I want to extend to you: Set aside an hour a day to sit quietly in SILENCE. Don't allow anything to take that silent time away from you. Fight for it. In essence you will be fighting for time with God.

I warn you though. Anything and everything will try to stand in your way. The first thing to come to your mind as you sit in silence is all the things you have to get done today. Then comes the feeling that you are wasting your time and you need to be "doing" something. It happens without fail. I ask you though, what is your priority? Spending time with the LORD or doing things for Him. Martha and Mary had this same struggle when Jesus came to their home in Bethany:

Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house.  And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus' feet and heard His word.  

But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, "Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me."

And Jesus answered and said to her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her."

(Luke 10:38-42)

 "The Living Word is sitting in her living room and Martha chooses to serve Him as opposed to sit and be in His presence like Mary. This isn't a focus on are you a Mary or a Martha. Both were loved by Jesus. The focus here is: which is most important to you? Being WITH Jesus or serving Him with the things we DO." ~From Bridal Intercession

I encourage you brethren. Spend time alone with the LORD. He is incredible and thinks the same way about you. Be blessed by His presence. I pray that this message finds you where you are and brings you into His loving arms. JESUS IS LORD!!!! Amen.

"So, when He heard that

he was sick, He stayed two more

days in the place where He was."

JOHN 11:6

When God is silent in your life, what is your instant reaction? "Oh my God has forsaken me. He has left me here utterly alone."  NO. On the contrary God is showing you a deeper level of intimacy and trust.

"Has God trusted you with a silence-a silence that is big with meaning? God's silences are His answers. Think of those days of absolute silence in the home at Bethany! Is there anything analogous to those days in your life? Can God trust you like that, or are you still asking for a visible answer? God will give you the blessings you ask if you will not go any further without them; but His silence is the sign that He is bringing you into a marvelous understanding of Himself. Are you mourning before God because you have not had an audible response? You will find that God has trusted you in the most intimate way possible, with an absolute silence, not of despair, but of pleasure, because He saw that you could stand a bigger revelation." - My Utmost for His Highest, by Oswald Chambers

Not only is it a revelation when God is silent, but it is also imperative that we ourselves be silent that we may hear from Him when He is speaking. In his book, Abba's Child, Brennan Manning writes this about silent solitude:

"The indispensible condition for developing and maintaining the awareness of our belovedness is time with God. In solitude we tune out the nay-saying whispers of our worthlessness and sink down into the mystery of our true self. Our longing to know who we really are-which is the source of all our discontent-will never be satisfied until we confront and accept our solitude. There we discover that the truth of our belovedness is really true."

If I were to be bluntly honest and real with you, I would tell you that I am in many ways, afraid to be alone in solitude. I always have to have some sort of noise going on, something to read, or someone to talk to. Are you like me and feel very awkward when you are all alone and are just sitting in the quietness doing nothing? In that moment, every idea that I could possibly think of to keep myself busy comes to my mind. In all honesty, in that quietness and solitude is exactly where God wants me so that I may discover more of Him and more of who I am. All the noise and business of our lives keeps the very voice of God silenced in our lives. He is the ONLY source of our identity that is REAL.

I encourage you brethren as I myself have been encouraged. Go into that silent solitude and find some rest. It is in that quietness that you will hear God tell you, "I love you my dearest one. You are my beloved. I accept you just as you are and not as you should be. Because you will never be as you should be. You are mine and I am yours."

Praise Report!

We prayed as a team yesterday for God to rain down healing on us and believed that He was going to heal us, because we believe our prayers are powerful and effective. After we closed out group feedback with a word of healing prayer, I already felt much better. I woke up this morning and my sickness was nearly gone. I went from feeling like I had a fever, chest congestion, stomach cramps, diarrhea, and dizziness to a slight head cold and minor cramps. The medicine that I am taking actually causes some of the symptoms that I currently have, but I rather have these symptoms than parasites (I am being treated for a sinus infection and parasites).

Glory to God! Jehovah Rapha is my healer!! I believe that God has many amazing things in store for us here in Guatemala! I know that God is awakening a generation that hears His voice and moves to the beat of His heart. oh praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead!!